After scrolling through a hundred therapist ads, I couldn’t tell what help I needed anymore. Pychotherapy? Art therapy? I made a spreadsheet of female therapists who had kind faces. Google says I should ask for a phone consultation, where there are 20 questions you should fire off. The first therapist I speak with on the phone says, “What is the issue you are struggling with?”…read more
“Labels are for cans,” my friend says. But I’m still curious whether I’m autistic. The first doctor’s office said I needed a referral from another doctor. The second doctor’s office said I needed to pay around two thousand dollars to sit with him three times, so he could potentially tell if I had autism by asking questions. I am not good with questions. At my…read more
I analyze each social context when I am the only one confused, which causes a lot of embarrassment, partly because I am now aware that I am the only one who doesn’t understand a situation that I should be able to understand by now. What did that look mean? What did that wink mean? People expect me to understand, or else they wouldn’t be including…read more
Not everyone understands how to play Hanon. There are 60 exercises, but you are not meant to do them all at once. They are tools in your arsenal for each of the different areas you need to improve on. Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts, and this is true for a lot of…read more
Around this time of year, I get a lot of big thoughts. Cutting thoughts. I’m having some of them right now. A few days ago, I caught myself thinking about what I would do to spend even one more minute with my dad. I caught myself thinking what-if, and those are dangerous what-ifs, so I’m not going to write them out. Those moments that I…read more
Pan quit university. Well, he didn’t quit, exactly. He dropped out of a specific minor program that is traditionally essential in computer sciences. He still finished all the other science courses. Which is ironic, considering computer science is supposed to be cutting edge and you still need a 4 year degree to get hired. I wasn’t on board with this at first. “Don’t look at…read more
In piano, you’ll notice that the melody is often given to the right hand, or upper voices. This is common in contemporary piano music, and pop music. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish the melody when a lot of notes are playing at the same time. That’s where finger and hand independence come in. How do you make sure that your hands are able to do…read more
I spent a lot of time in the practice room refining my fast, repeated notes, and for whatever reason, I would only nail these passages sometimes. One blurred note in the 16 fast repeated notes, gives my entire passage a failing grade. Before my piano lesson, I would cross my fingers. After all, having the piano teacher stand beside me always made me play approximately…read more
In Seattle, I’ve settled into a cave with slate blue cabinets. I’ve gotten myself a mattress and a bed and a shelf. Things have fallen into place bit by bit. I appreciate all the Artiden friends who reached out or sent a simple hello. Here I am, sitting on a silver milk jug thinking about life in front of a plateful of cheese, in Seattle.…read more
My friend tells me that border security will punch a hole through my drivers license when I pass the border. I am aghast when she tells me this, because my license is a piece of my identification as a canadian. It’s silly, it’s a piece of plastic, but it’s my identity. It’s like I am leaving it behind, in Canada. Have you ever moved countries?…read more