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Artiden

Am I allergic to friends?

When I had a friend take me to the hospital, I said, “If we have to pay for parking, I’ll pay.”

“No,” she said, “we don’t have to pay. I’m worried that you won’t be able to breathe so we should get there fast.”

When her car slows at the entrance, she’s looking at the front windshield and says, “Well, Grace, this is as far as I can go.”

I thought coming to the hospital meant they would be with me.

“Okay,” I say.

“Let me know if you need anything,” she says.

I leave the car as it’s pouring rain. Maybe she’s hungry. We hadn’t eaten all day. Or maybe there’s a lot of germs in the ER and she doesn’t want to get sick.

The hospital emergency room is very fancy, they give you a heated blanket. This like is a hotel with medical care. where are the beeping machines and rushing gurneys?

The receptionist says, “Do you want to leave an emergency contact?”

“Uhm,” I says. I could put that friend’s name who drove me, but realistically would they care if I had a heart attack, if they literally just left me at the hospital? I put Pan’s name.

I have to repeat my symptoms to a lot of people and it’s a bit embarrassing. I don’t want them to think I’m contagious or anything. In fact, I diagnose myself so they don’t think I have smallpox.

“I think I have an allergic reaction,” I say.

I’m seen within 5 mins. They officially diagnose me within another 10. They say it’s serious.

A heated blanket lands in my lap, the bed is covered with cloth instead of paper, and I get a private room. When can I go home?

The doctor says, “You’re not driving home.”

“Oh,” I say. “Ok.”

“No,” he says. “I’m asking if you’re driving home.”

“Oh,” I say. “No, I’m not driving home.”

“How did you get here?”

“A friend drove me.”

“So they can drive you home.”

“Uh,” I say. “Yea.”

“I’m asking because this medication will make you very sleepy and you can’t drive.”

“Oh,” I say. “I won’t drive home.”

“Good.”

“Do you think the allergy will affect my hands?”

“Not permanently. But you will need a few more days of rest. You won’t get better today.”

He explains the prescriptions, asks if I have any more questions, then gets out of there. Between people entering my room, I text my friends so it feels like more people are concerned about my wellbeing.

Should I text my friend to come back to pick me up? She lives less than five mins away.

I spent the day shopping with her so she can get her first makeup and first dress. I showed her how to use makeup and hair products because it was important for her. She gained a lot of confidence. Towards the end of it I was starving and I still stayed. I was having an allergic reaction to something, so I didn’t want to eat anything that I didn’t personally cook.

In the evening, we did her makeup for two hours until I said I should go to the emergency room now. I had brought it up a few times but i had reached the end of my waiting.

I text her to ask for a ride home, and she says yes.

When I get in the car 45 mins later, my friend says, “I got lost. I went to the other entrance underground and I texted you but I don’t think I had signal.”

“That’s ok,” I say. “Thanks for coming.”

During the ride, she says, “I originally wanted some dessert but I realize you must be tired.”

“Oh,” I say. “You want more of my blueberry loaf? I can get you more.” I had baked some loaf and given her a slice this morning.

“If you’re too tired, it’s fine.”

“That’s ok.”

When I get upstairs, I give her two large slices which is more than half of what I have left. This loaf makes me popular. I tell her she can keep the container however long she needs.

There are 18 comments below
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Tamara
Tamara
4 years ago

Grace, are you okay? What did you have an allergic reaction to? I have a sesame allergy so I totally understand. I have all kinds of rules about going hungry rather than eating something that I don’t know what it is. You sound like you need some love. Here’s a hug from me! (O)

Cathy Therrien
Cathy Therrien
4 years ago

Hi Grace. Sending you a hug and hope your allergy symptoms go away soon. I can’t believe your ‘friend’ just dropped you off at the door and left. I would have gone in with you!

Rosie
Rosie
4 years ago

Oh, Grace, you’ve been through too much! Let’s hope things settle down. I’m sorry you were left alone to go into the emergency room, but glad you went under the circumstances of having a reaction. I understand the awkward discomfort of having to ask someone else for help. I’m glad it worked out for you. Since your hands were affected, is there any chance there could have been a reaction to some of the products in the lengthy exposure while teaching your friend? “Am I Allergic to Friends?” That’s an interesting proposition in your title. It could be a tongue-in-cheek,… Read more »

Rosie
Rosie
4 years ago
Reply to  Grace Lam

Hurray for your sandwich! Maybe that will reassure your confused and angry body. :)

Suzanna
Suzanna
4 years ago

Hi Grace,
I hope you will feel better soon and that your hands are fine again.
Hugs,
Suzanna

Susan
Susan
4 years ago
Reply to  Suzanna

What an ordeal :0. So sorry for your physical and mental discomfort. I am very sensitive to medications and have been in the emergency room more than once because of them myself. It’s scary and frustrating. I don’t take any new meds when my hubby’s out of town because I had to take an ambulance ride by myself one time because of a reaction. As for the person who took you to the emergency room and dropped you off, perhaps she hasn’t learned how to care for another yet. You might try talking with her when you have more space… Read more »

be dazzled by LL
be dazzled by LL
4 years ago

Hola, I’m adhd, as well as highly on the autism spectrum, my top LL is acts of service, my second last would be quality time and last would be words of affirmation. I think you could have asked, “could you come in with me, please?” or communicated, “oh dear – i thought you’d be coming in with me”, or you could be pro-active about asking, “can you possibly pick me up after your afternoon errands”? Because your friend may have thought she had done all that was expected. We all have our own patterns of thinking. Concretely, none of the… Read more »

Kate Hofherr
Kate Hofherr
4 years ago

I love the community here on your site but am sorry Grace you had to go through this experience alone. You’ve had to do much alone lately and you’re amazing to observe as you share these experiences — even as painful as some of them are. I agree with Susan above — we are here on earth to help each other but some people just haven’t had it modeled for them so…we move forward hoping things change the next time God-forbid, something like this happens. Hope you’re healing up and those talented hands feel better soon! God bless you

Mike
Mike
4 years ago

So sorry you’ve had a rough time Grace. Also glad it wasn’t worse. I think everyone has said most of what is sensible to say, so I won’t bore you. It’s been my experience that the sort of people that help and consider others the most get the least back. Maybe that’s because we can cope with it better.

Get well soon please.